2015 New Year’s Resolutions, Intentions and Ramblings

2014, I did not see you coming. I knew 2013 would be a doozy to top, but this past year took me to new places: in travel, in my career, in relationships.


Some of my favorite moments from last year.

While the last twelve months meant serious commitment (read: a lot of hard work and hard decision making) to reaching goals, every ounce of energy used in 2014 was worth the expenditure to get me to where I am on January 1 of the next year.

So, what does 2015 have in store?

I’m not one against setting resolutions. Finding resolve to motivate you forward can be quite the empowering undertaking. I set these resolutions last year — I feel like I can still embrace them this year:

  • Meditate daily. (New practice journal already obtained. YogaGlo.com subscription on monthly renewal. Ready to buckle down, push how long I sit for, and find ease in the process.)
  • More strength training. (Considering my runner’s knee diagnosis in 2014, you’ll see more weights and Yoga Tune Up® in my feeds. Get excited, ’cause I am.)
  • Drink more water. (Waterlogged app reinstalled on my iPhone. Committing to continuing my 32 oz. a day to start — working towards at least doubling it by end of the month.)

And there was one last resolution from 2014 that stops me in my tracks: letting go of “perfect”. I knew it would be the most difficult for me, but I needed to release control of every.single.thing and let life come to me.

Since setting that resolution, there were moments of stubbornness, confusion and many tears in giving up as much of this tendency. While there was much joy in 2014, too much of the year was spent back in places of anxiety and old habits — usually with the question “what have I done?” (and in true Alicia form, said in an overdramatic fashion. #onceatheaterkidalwaysatheaterkid)

To be perfectly honest: it’s exhausting. And I’m exhausted of being exhausted from always giving the need of control that much energy. It’s time for a change — and what better day to kick it in to gear.

I’ve been spending the past few months picking up my teacher’s book, The Four Desires, flipping open to a random page and soaking in what teachings it contains. And in a frank conversation on New Year’s Eve, I found myself paraphrasing this quote of Rod Stryker’s from this exact book:

“Don’t postpone your happiness. The question to ask yourself is, how bad does it have to feel before you are motivated to act differently and effect real change in your life? You can decide today that the price of not changing is too high, and that you refuse to stay just as you are. It’s up to you.”

So what if 2015 was dedicated towards fully embracing change, and even being the one to suggest it? What if in letting go of the need of perfection, the BS and the distractions, I could tap into what my soul really wanted? And what if after all the calamity from it settled, I found what I was truly looking for  — in the stillness, in the calm, in the quiet moments of contentment that remained after?

It’s time to do more than just survive. It’s time to thrive — and to the fullest level. And 2015, you seem like the perfect year to do so.

Connect with me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

coming clean: three years later

Three years ago, I lost complete control of my life in one massive anxiety attack.

Two years ago on the last Friday of September, I reflected on how far I had come in that year. I was scared – very scared – that I was going to fall back into those old patterns.

Last year, it was easy to see all of those baby steps were getting me closer to being on the path to acceptance of who I really am.

small steps big step

(Photo source: the Yogi Times FB page)

It hasn’t been the smoothest sail in the past twelve months, and there have been re-routings that I could have NEVER seen coming. I didn’t always get my way and the Universe tested my patience. But I would remember the sankulpa – the meaningful intention – I set at the Rod Stryker Four Desire workshop last September, and I knew that what felt like missteps were actually part of the path. Those alternative ways of getting here today were vital in my accepting this perfectly imperfect soul that is me.

This year, it’s a different story.  Last night, when I realized I was coming upon this anniversary, I was shaken at first. But then a sense of confidence came over me.  I am not scared of the anxiety in a way I previous was. As I consider myself now in “maintenance mode”, the sense of panic that overcomes me occasionally gets easier to shake off — and with a hip shake a la Taylor Swift style, of course. I know what tools to use, what breathing patterns and yoga poses to do, and who to lean on when I’ve entered what I lovingly call “bat sh*t crazy land”.

For the longest time, I wanted to label what I was fighting against. I wanted something to be mad at, to yell at, to cry over. But holding on to all of that negative energy is EXHAUSTING. So I’m throwing the need to define it, to label it, to “own” it right out the window.

I took it off.

(Photo source: the Yogi Times FB page)

…mostly because that’s no longer me.  For the first time in a long time, I have vision of where I’m headed, where I’m going, who I’m meant to be. That comes from having a clear perception — and full belief that you are serving the world in a way that comes from the most authentic part of you:  your soul and its desires.

So on this final Friday of September — and every last Friday in the month of September — I will always be called to STOP. But I’m never going to stay in that moment long. Ain’t nobody got time for that. And neither do you.

Connect with me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

coming clean: The Month of No

You have through Labor Day to enter my #HeinensGrill giveaway – click over to this post to enter a tote bag filled of grilling supplies from Heinen’s.


In participating a Myers-Briggs assessment at work during the month of June (ESFJ FTW), traits*** of my personality were revealed to me:

  • ESFJs want decisions made early.
  • They like to keep traditions alive.
  • ESFJs dislike dealing with problems on a theoretical or philosophical basis.
  • They are conscious of appearances. (you would never know this based on how often I wear yoga pants to probably not socially acceptable scenarios. #sorrynotsorry)

The process solidified some things I already knew:

  • ESFJs lead very busy lives.
  • Their parties are well planned and often lavishly put together.
  • They value harmony and try to not offend or disappoint anyone.
  • ESFJs thrive on being needed but can feel overburdened and stressed from taking care of others.

As July came upon me and I turned 31, I felt bombarded by a need to take care while being true to myself. I was inspired to take some helpful yet opposite-for-ESFJs actions:

  • focusing on what I wanted to do and not what I “should” do
  • not try to fix everything all the time
  • learn to trust myself
  • appreciate my positive qualities
  • slow down my pace

It was apparent and I knew what I had to do. I declared AUGUST AS THE MONTH OF NO.

By mid July, I started telling friends, family, coworkers and random strangers that August was untouchable. If I didn’t have it scheduled by July 31st, I wasn’t doing it until September 1st. Some people didn’t catch on right away, and were thrown when I said “sorry”.  But others completely understood — even congratulated me for holding firm. Friends started taking on the same mantra as me and they started messaging me pins on Pinterest.

guard your time fiercely

So a month into this experiment what have I learned?

I adore having some alone time to myself. When I stumbled on this elephant journal “How to Love a Cancer” article, I practically shouted “YES!” when I read this portion: “Because she feels everything, a Cancer often craves alone time, either to be with her thoughts or to rejuvenate her soul from the constant taking in of all that surrounds her.”  It sounds counter-ESFJ, but it explains why I’ve been gravitating towards those long solo towpath bike rides this summer.

I feel EVERY.SINGLE.THING.  Each and every single sensation — physical and emotional — has been magnified. The happy times are happier, the depressive moments are somehow lower. Engaging strength in my arms during chatrunga has finally “clicked” — but as are my knees.  And since I took advantage of all that free time by filling it more physical activity, I burnt myself out and I’m now on a PT suggested RX of rest, ice, compression and elevation. (More on this soon. Yes, Universe: I got the message — slowing down mentally isn’t enough, it’s gotta be matched physically.)

Declining is liberating.  So what does all this “no” saying set you up for?  Saying “YEAH!” to the things you really want to do. Saying “Sure!” to the things you never had time for before because you were bogged down with BS.  And maybe – just maybe – saving yourself up for one very big YES exactly when you’re ready for it.

Will it be in September? As I rest my knee and my soul, I’ll just kick back, relax and see.

Connect with me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

***These points are taken from a book that I photocopied but forgot to write down the title of. When I have access to the book again, I’ll update this post for the proper credit.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...