Ever sit down to make some new year’s resolutions and your brain felt like this:
Scattered? Mangled? A mess? That was me yesterday when I tried to take my annual moment to figure out what I wanted my new year to look like via those pesky, usually-long-gone-by-February New Year’s Resolutions.
Sure, there are the usual ones that I’m sure I set every year:
- Lose XX amount of pounds. (Thank goodness I have pretty much knocked off all of the baby weight and am working on that “freshman 15” I gained when I started my job 2+ years ago — they keep us well fed, ha!)
- Drink more water (but we’re all chronically dehydrated so we all need to be reseting this every day/week/year.)
- Make time to meditate daily. (I’ll be lucky to just sit still for a minute with a one year old around…)
- etc, etc, etc…
So I thought, and thought, and thought some more. I still came up with nothing. To be honest with you, I had the same issue when trying to come up with an answer for when my bosses asked me where I saw myself in five years as part of our annual reviews process. It took me another six months to realize that I have been so distracted in living in the moment that I wasn’t at all looking at the future. I put two and two together again when I tried to make my resolutions today and I was 100% okay with it.
I know 2017 was generally a rough year in many ways, but for us personally, we kind of hit the jackpot with this last one. Brenna settled into daycare fabulously and is the happiest, healthiest baby we could ever imagine. I got back into the swing of things at work while getting back into teaching yoga. Hans had a fulfilling year at his job (with several interesting travels including to Japan). We also accomplished a huge long term goal — we moved into the house of our dreams in the community we’ve been longing to live in for more than a decade. So, not to brag, but we’ve been in a sweet spot lately. And I’ve been REALLY enjoying it. Living in it, thriving in it. And it feels GOOD.
As someone who spent far too much time in her life struggling with anxiety (what will happen) and depression (what already happened), it feels like a bit of a breakthrough mentally. Learning to focus on the RIGHT NOW. What I need now, what my family needs now. This former Type A+ person is more of a Type A-/B+ these days — just enough planning to get by, but more apt to throw out the plan need be. (Case in point: Ask me about our visit to Walt Disney World trip last week!)
It’s not been a necessarily smooth journey. Sometimes living in the right now means being noncommittal in advance – often because of the nature of the many hats I wear, sometimes because I know I need to say “no” to things to manage my anxiety. Have I frayed some ropes and burned some bridges along the way because of those decisions? Probably. But I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, so it’s worth the trade off.
Should I be setting reasonable, S.M.A.R.T. short and long term goals? Most definitely. Am I working on some drafts of a few? Sure. Am I ready to share them? Nope. So here’s what I will resolve to you this New Year’s Day: I will celebrate those moments when I’m living in the moment…
Okay, and maybe one more resolution: to drink more champagne. After all, what’s a celebration without some bubbly?